What Mao told the complaining commanders about the cold;
“The cold Chinese weather is healthier than capitalist gold”
Which might be the hidden reason, why I got the cold.
After catching communist cold in polluted air in Beijing
I stopped to look around for romance even for a manly sin.
After travelling all night in the train that affected my brain
At last I sat down to eat at McDonald’s in Shanghai,
Normalised myself, I never said in Chinese any lie.
Who will understand me if I am hundred percent silly?
Anyhow I watched the ladies passing by, peacefully.

Many ladies around me who make the place and me warm
Still they are not yet doing to me any mental or physical harm
Without language how can I show my hidden charm?
No point to try in Beijing a wild Peking duck chasing,
McDonald’s is full of chicks and chickens at least for gazing.
Then, I stared to study Chinese peoples’ face and race

They seem to me people from Mongolian origin ethnically
Even so I am a practical pathologist, not scientifically.
Nonetheless I solved the Chinese people’s origin problem gently
Before I submit my research to the United Nations
The Flaming dragon must grant me millions of pounds in commission
Even in the capitalist McDonald’s the communist cold I don’t trust
No more veggie burgers feast its all-together grass.
I demand a promotion to be a top brass

Plus a top job within Chairman Mao’s ruling board.
Which will help me get rid of my communist cold
To lose such great research, how can they afford?
I have already submitted my record to the UK Lords
I will submit my research first UK Lord
But most of them are sleeping in The Lords,
Heads on the boards like worn out antique Fords
I wonder why I am to the Chinese so good?
After all this hard work for the United Nations brotherhood
With my worldwide dreams, I would like to retire in Hollywood.