After midnight there was a brain-cracking chat,
Pat said, “There is a bat.” I said, “What?”
Pat said, “Bat’s a bit fat.” I said, “What?”
Pat said, “It could be a rat.” I said, “What?”
She said, “The rat is hiding behind the mat.”
I said, “Forget the rat, go to sleep Pat.”
Pat said, “What about the rat?”
I said, “He might be a good lad.”
Pat said, “She is a nice female rat.”
“Pat, you are so smart but
How did you know it was a female rat?”
Pat said, “For the sake of some chat.”
“Pat, you must wait until daylight.”
Pat said, “I have house-watching rights.”
“Pat, you cannot catch the rat after midnight
That is your duty, if you have might.”
I said, “What?” She said, “You must catch the rat.”
I said, “Pat, you are a cracking nut!”
After a long argument, we made an agreement
Just before the sleepless night's end.
Leaving the quiet rat alone, where she belongs.
But after that, Pat got on the phone
To explain the night to her mum a bit strong.
All night alone, how I was wrong.
I have lost the whole night, still my head goes ding dong,
Then we realised the peaceful rat had gone.
How am I going to stop the noise from Pat's phone.
Still I gain something with this, ratty, Patty, chatty song
“But,” said Pat, “This song is grammatically wrong.”