A big price gap from bottom to ceiling,
Some landlords are modest others make a killing
From fifteen pounds to fifty pounds B&B in Tallinn.
The conditions are in Russian you cannot read,
You cannot see the room before you rent it,
It’s up to you - take it or leave it.
The office lady gives me free ex-Soviet advice
So at the agency I choose a room at the lowest price,
And pay for it three days in advance.
The landlady is Ludmila, I take my chance with her too
When you don’t know the country,
Until is spaying Russian lady knows you.
Not much resting, best thing to obey the taboo.
The room is on the fifth floor; I can’t climb up any more!
Locked for security with three locked doors
With a view over an old castle wall;
The sloping angle of the roof is making it small,
Still it’s good enough for me, I am not that tall.
Furnished with lower-than-low budget things -
In London you can collect them free from dustbins.
Beside the castle wall I can watch the timeless sky,
And I can ask God why life is a futile try.
So I am lucky as it’s the history, mystery in front of my eyes
Plus Ludmila may give me late-night romantic advice
That will help me to know where I am,
Navigating skill was my old days’ gem.
She has compass-sized breasts on her chest;
I’d like exercise to navigate with them,
If her flashing eyes the right way direct me,
Then easily I will find the basin of the Baltic Sea.
It’s nice to be useful for low-priced hospitality,
While I’m in the mood for exploring Baltic’s beauty.