Even if I put down fifty percent of the purchase money Bank staff talk to me sometimes normally, but most of the time funny.
They say, “Do you like our bank or just English money?”
The March weather forecast is not yet quite sunny
Even the honeybees aren’t yet making any real honey.
Therefore you may become a nice moony until you get money
In the case your mortgage application fails
Nevertheless let me tell you in on the secret of our banking tale.
Up to now we arranged six appointments but all of them failed.
Because Diana went on holiday to Vienna and Fiona, Nana got sliming-sick,
Plus, alas eccentric Derek is still playing with his own dick.
He’s getting ready to play with next available chick.
There’s only me left to deal without a meal, all kind of gentle tricks.
But you don’t need to worry about the other people’s chick or dick,
Our ladies are not thick; sooner or later they will get in click.
Even with a beast of a man something makes them slick sneak meek sneak ???
What is your problem: are you still waiting for a yes or no only nine weeks?
We are still in a good mood, instead of giving you a costume-care kick.
As you know we are an environmental, future and nature loving bank.
Plus money and canny market we have to deal all its rank
We make sure that big deposit costumers aren’t playing pranks.
Let me tell you more who we are: the world’s focal and local bank
We like healthy, wealthy costumers with straight legs.
Scientists advised us: wealthy costumers produce healthy eggs
As I can see from your record, you visited us six times, still no crime
Crime or no crime, could you write about us a handy, trendy, rhyme,
You know what I mean; a bit of harassment is not legally a sin.
Still if you stick with us like top quality clear glue you will win
This may help to clear your background-crafting sin.
Therefore you don’t have to pay tax when in heaven.
If your fifty percent deposit money hundred percent is clean
Let me make it straight, before I decide your mortgage-fate:
We only charge five percent above the Bank of England rate.
Don’t be a fool, obey the world’s focal, local bank’s rule.
If we are obeying the best bank’s rule, why don’t you obey?
Let me think about your outlook until Christmas Day.
Besides our inspirations, except money, what else would you quite like to get,
How dare you trick me into talking about our top secret?
When you came in you looked quite normal but now you’re acting quite mad.
Even your short legs are looking healthy, but you are still guilty
By deceiving me and showing me the wrong way.
Somehow we enjoy treating a poetical-crank in a special way.
Giving you a 50% mortgage on Sunday is The Doomsday
Even Focal Bank’s special way, I haven’t got the mortgage.
Besides playing the money-game, they couldn’t appreciate the gentle mental poet.
But next time no more chit-chat; I will attack them with rage, How I will get from the play-fool bank a one-hundred percent mortgage.